Breakups aren’t easy, in fact, the only part of a relationship that’s harder than starting it and keeping it together is breaking it apart after you’ve invested so much time, effort and perhaps even money to it. Breaking apart is distorting. Everywhere you go, everything you do seems to remind you of her and you just wish you could go back to the good old days when everything was lush and green. If you’re in this state, there’s only one thing left to do: wake up.
Admittedly, this is the hardest part of it all. It’s like those times you’ve been working so hard as soon as you get home, you just fall into bed and you fall asleep. The sleep that follows is so great and the dreams likewise you’re unable to tell it’s a dream until you finally wake up and it hits you. You’ll want to go back to sleep and continue the dream where it left off, but there’s just no going back to it. What’s gone is gone.
Cutting her off
The first thing you need to do is to cut her off. Delete her number, clear out all the conversations and start living a life without her. One thing you must remember is the golden rule of old conversations: do not keep screenshots. This just means a part of you is still cling onto the past.
It may be hard at fast because you definitely shared some good times, but even those have to go. She doesn’t mean anything to you anymore. You need to start on clean slate.
This can’t be stressed enough because there is literally no limit to how important this is going to be for you. If you’re the kind that’s used to lying around all day watching Netflix or goofing around with your pals on Battlefields 1, it’s time for some change.
Go out there and make yourself a better man. Enroll to gym, find a hobby, make yourself feel like you have something to live for. Create physical strength and emotional balance will be much easier to muster.
Don’t do her
Going back to the good old days may be tempting, not only for you, but also her. If you went out of your way to make yourself a better man, for your own good, anything could happen. You bump into her and suddenly, boom, she wants you back or the other way around.
Don’t fall for it. Let it go. You already closed that chapter of your life. That door is closed and it would be best to let it remain that way.
Know it is OK to still love them.
Love is a powerful bond, whether simply evolutionary or perhaps something more, we may never truly know. There are things that she did that you will absolutely miss, you totally want back, but sadly, those will have to remain in memory.
Even though you’ve cut off contact, made peace with the past and let go of her, there’s nothing much to do about your memory. Cherish the good times and learn from the hard times. That’s the only way progress can be made.
Love yourself more.
Learning to live by yourself, trying to love yourself as much as the other person loved you is the hardest part of living in a three-dimensional world. Everyone deserves to be in a relationship that makes them a better person that builds the person they are. However, you are more important.
Never expect someone to treat you better than you treat yourself. Self-forgiveness and self-love are the most important traits of wholesomeness. Once you see how much you’re really worth, and that the love you have for yourself is primary to everything else, you’re finally ready for the final phase, self-acceptance: you’re not perfect, you understand it, and you’re OK with it.